Living for her
by ellajanefowl
Summary: This is just something that has been in my head for ages. One-shot featuring some sadness. Character death.


**Hi there! It's me ellajanefowl. This is my first expedition into the fanfiction world of Toradora! I've published in other categories but this is my first one here. **

**This little piece has been bouncing around inside my head for ages. It was inspired by...well actually I'll tell you at the end. Don't want to ruin it.  
And just to let you know, its kinda sad :(**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Toradora! or the characters.  
**

Ryūji started. He had dozed off. Rubbing his eyes, he turned towards Taiga. She was sitting in front of the television, still playing video games.

"How long have you been playing that?" he queried.

She hit pause and turned. "Um…," she said thoughtfully. "What time is it now?"

Ryūji peered at the clock. "It's 5:00 pm."

"Well, that means almost two hours."

"I think that's enough. You're brain will turn to mush." Ryūji rose to his feet and turned off the TV and the console.

"I think it has," she said. "I'm going for a walk. I need some air." With that she rose to her feet, slipped her shoes on and walked out the door.

"Hey! Taiga!" Ryūji yelled, trying to jam his shoes on his feet. "You can't go without your coat!" He grabbed his own coat, her coat, and ran out the door.

She was waiting at the bottom of the stairs. "What took you so long?" she asked.

Ryūji sighed and handed her a coat.

"That's yours, stupid." She said, throwing it in his face.

He tried to retaliate by throwing hers into her face but she caught it deftly. "Thanks," she said, pulling it on. "I was getting cold."

* * *

They walked along the sidewalk. It was reaching into the evening and the air was starting to cool off. The cold nipped at their faces and their breath hung in clouds in front of them.

Taiga shivered and jammed her hands into her pockets. "Let's go back now," she said. "My brain's not mushy anymore."

"Well, we've come this far," countered Ryūji. "Let's keep going to the supermarket. I want to pick up some groceries."

"Alright," Taiga consented. "But if I freeze to death first, it's YOUR fault. Not mine."

"Oh, of course. Because it definitely was me who made you run outside without your jacket, scarf, or any warm clothing on. And it wasn't me who brought your coat to you either. How silly of me."

"Yes. Silly Ryūji. You finally admit it."

He gave her a gentle shove. She bumped him back. He chuckled and slipped his arm around her shoulder. She grinned up at him and wrapped her own arm around his waist. They continued walking.

It came out of nowhere. "I want to move back here."

"What?"

"You heard me. I miss this place, I miss you, and frankly, I am getting sick and tired of putting up with THEM."

Ryūji didn't know what to say. If he were to be completely honest, he would tell Taiga that she should move back. He missed her like crazy and so did his mother. But, was that really what was best for Taiga? And did she really want to come back? Or was she doing it for him?

"What do you think?" Taiga demanded, staring up at him with her big brown eyes. "Don't you want me to come back?"

Now she had him. He couldn't very well say he thought she shouldn't come back. It wasn't a question of whether he wanted her to. There was nothing else he would have like more. But whether she _should_ or not. That was different. He had his mother. Shouldn't Taiga be able to have her mother as well?

"Taiga…" he started, unsure of how to continue.

"If we're going to get married, we should be able to see each other, right?"

She really had him backed into a corner now. He stopped and turned to her.

"I don't think we are ready to get married. And I don't think you should come live here again." There. He'd said it. Better to get it all out there right?

Hurt spread across Taiga's face. Then anger. OK. Maybe he should've been more tactful.

"What?" she breathed. "I thought…"

"It's not that I don't want you to come back, I really do!" She still looked unimpressed and furious. He tried again, "I think it's best for you to be with your family. And we have plenty of time to get married. We're still young."

She turned her back to him and crossed her arms. "Shut up. I don't want to hear it."

"But Taiga…"

"GO AWAY!" she shouted. He could see tears in her eyes. He hadn't meant to do that. Why had he said that? Why?

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah. Me too. Sorry I asked." she replied.

He turned, frustrated. She was impossible. He continued along, marching angrily across the small side street in front of him. He didn't look. He should have. He would wish that he had looked for the rest of his life.

It happened so fast. The screech of brakes, the horn, he couldn't react fast enough. He heard Taiga scream his name. Something small but powerful hit him from behind, propelling him forward. Then an awful sound. The sound of something getting hit by the car that had raced out of the side street. That something wasn't him.

He rolled over. A small crowd of people was gathering. The driver of the car got out. He was saying something. Some one asked him something. He couldn't tell what. Everything was a blur. Everything except the small figure sprawled on the ground.

He crawled over to her. She was so tiny. "Taiga" he murmured, stroking her face.

"Ryūji." She breathed. "It hurts."

His face was wet. He thought he may have been crying. He wasn't sure. "You're OK. They've called an ambulance. You'll be fine." He picked up one of her tiny hands and slipped his fingers between hers, gently stroking it with his thumb.

"Ryūji." She said again. "I don't want to die." She coughed, spitting up blood.

Someone was behind Ryūji saying something about being sorry, that he hadn't seen them. Someone else said something about an ambulance. He really didn't care about anything that anyone else said. Only Taiga mattered.

"You won't die. You can't die." He said, stroking her face and her hair with his free hand.

Pain was visible in her face. She moaned slightly. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry? You don't have to be sorry for anything. You saved me."

"I got mad. I'm sorry Ryūji." Her voice was growing weaker, her breathing shallower. "Promise me you won't dwell on me. Promise me you'll get married."

"Of course I'll get married. I'm marrying you remember?"

She gently touched his face with her hand as a tear ran down her cheek. "I love you."

The tears started in full force. He wiped them away. "I love you too" he replied, choking back his sobs.

She grasped his collar and pulled weakly on it. He leaned down and kissed her gently. As he pulled back a smile graced her beautiful features, she sighed and then she was gone.

He buried his face in her coat, crying. He pulled her into his lap and cradled her, resting her head on his shoulder. He needed her, why had she left? She couldn't have gone. She wasn't dead, she couldn't be dead. She was part of him, without her he couldn't live. What was his life without her?

"Please," he sobbed to no one in particular. "Please."

But she was gone.

* * *

One year had passed. Exactly one year. He thought of her almost every day. When he made lunch. When he went for walks. Everything. Every single thing reminded him of her. At first it had been agony. He had gone into a dark, sad place for almost 6 months. She was gone, never to return. And it was because of him. She'd died for him. It was absolutely and utterly, unbearable to try to live. She should have been there with him, enjoying life too.

Then something changed. He wasn't sure what. He started to come out of his hole. He started to eat again, to want to live again. Life started to become slightly more bearable. Then she came to him. Most times when he dreamed of her, it was a nightmare. But this was a good dream. A remembering dream. He remembered how much she loved living. And he decided that he had to live for her. He remembered what she had said. "Promise me you won't dwell on me." Well, he had. But not anymore. He was moving on. He would do as she had asked.

Today he went to visit her. He brought a bouquet of flower. Kneeling, he removed the old ones and carefully arranged the new ones.

"Hey, you. Here are some new flowers. You really ought to take better care of them when I go to all the trouble to get them for you. Maybe then they'll last longer." He grinned, imagining her reply. Most likely something with the word "stupid" in it, in reference to him.

He still missed her. He still cried. He still had bad days. But instead of pain from everything that reminded him of her, he felt peace. She was still with him. She was in him. She was in everything. And that had made life worth living again. Because, of course, he was living for her.

**AN: :'(**

**Please don't misunderstand me. I would never wish for this to happen! I love Taiga! But my brain can't help imagining what would happen if...  
So when someone posted a Youtube comment on a Toradora! video that said something about "what if Taiga died?" this is what came out of it.  
**

**Reviews are welcomed :) **


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